Not Alone
by Kari Rose
Summary: Kai begins to feel left out, unwanted, alone! Can his team help him before it is too late!
1. Default Chapter

Kai sat alone on a hard stone wall. It was 4:30 am, but he was wide awake. He'd had another sleepless night but he didn't care much for sleep anyway. A cold morning breeze sent a shiver down his spine. He hugged his scarf around his bare shoulders and looked into the sky. It was still dark but a ray of light glowed on the horizon. He only had a few hours to think in peace before the others would wake, well all but Tyson he'd be sleeping most of the morning, Most of the day if Kai'd let him.

Kai stared up at the moon, lost in thought. A soft glow of white surrounded it. Something brushed past his arm, startling him. A kitten mewed softly. He smiled slightly and tickled the little cat behind the ears. It jumped into his lap, snuggled up against his chest and purred. Kai was surprised by this little kitten's affection. No one had ever shown much care towards him. He wished Tyson and the others would be like the kitten sometimes, not by purring, even though he was sure he had heard Rei purr once or twice, and burying themselves into his chest but by showing they cared or by treating him with a bit more respect, instead of yelling at him or ignoring him. It never used to bother him, he was used to it but now he was beginning to feel hurt by it. He felt no one cared anymore. He felt like he was just used to teach his so called friends how to be better bladers. He felt lonely, ignored, unwanted. He felt like he was just there because he was a good blader and his team only wanted him so they could win.

Kai looked again towards the horizon. The sun was steadily creeping up shedding light on the earth. The soft morning sun light was not at all comforting to him. Dawn only meant one thing: the start of another day, each day being worse than the day before. Kai was glad of night. For many people night was a time to dream but Kai never had dreams only nightmares. To him night was a time when he could sit alone and concentrate. Night was a time when he could try to interpret his feelings.

Kai gazed at the kitten in his lap and stroked its soft ginger fur.

"What can I call you?" He asked softly and searched his head for a name, "I can't just call you kitten, you need a name" He gazed at the stars and remembered the Latin word he'd read once as a child. "Stella" The kitten hissed in detest, "No? How about Luna?" Again the kitten hissed "Well then I don't know then," He looked down into the kittens large glistening eyes "Esperanza?" The kitten hissed again "Didn't think so either, I just know it means something like hope. How about I just call you kitten until I think of something?" The kitten purred in agreement and curled up again. Did it really understand him or was it just a coincidence.

Kai sat in silence gazing at the sun. The city was waking and there was more noise as people were setting about their business. Kai brought his thoughts back to himself and his 'team'. Maybe he shouldn't train them so hard. Maybe that's why they are ignoring him. Maybe it's all just their way of saying they've had enough of training. No! The championships were coming round again and there was no way Kai was going to let his team fail, let himself fail. They had to win!

A sound like a gunshot in the distance disturbed his thoughts and also the kitten. It leaped from Kai's lap and disappeared down an ally. Kai felt even lonelier now the kitten had left him. He decided he should go and wake his team. Then they could get on with training.

Kai shook Tyson to wake him

"Help! The ship...is sinking...we're gonna die!" Tyson yelled. Kai shook him harder

"No...Not the buttons not my gumdrop buttons!" Max laughed but Kai just yanked the blanket away from Tyson. Tyson turned over mumbling but didn't wake. Kai grabbed hold of his pyjamas and pulled him off the bed and let him fall to the ground.

"Earthquake!!" Tyson yelled and rolled around on the floor. Kai knelt down next to him and yelled in his ear

"GET UP YOU LAZY SLUG!" Tyson sat up suddenly and opened his eyes, everything was blurry and he lifted one hand to shield his eyes from the sunlight creeping through the window.

"Wha...who's there!" The blurry images became clear and he saw the rest of his team staring down at him.

"Good morning Tyson" Max said cheerfully

"Bout time you got up"

"What's for breakfast?"

"You missed it, now get dressed and get yourself out side for training"

"What without breakfast! You must be kidding" Kai turned to face him

"Does this look like the face of someone who wants to joke around? No it doesn't now hurry up"

Kai left the room and went outside to the beydish. He thought about what he'd just said. It was harsh not letting Tyson have breakfast his good side thought. It's his own fault he shouldn't ignore me. He quietly debated with himself eventually coming to the conclusion that he'd let them have lunch early.

After a hard day of training the blade breakers finally settled down to sleep. Kai crept out and sat alone again on the cold stone wall. He'd felt even more alone today. No one had said much to him today. He'd been left to stand in a corner and not say very much. The team had just got on with the training and had not really needed his help. Maybe his team were good enough without him. Maybe it was time he found some other amateur team who needed help, advise and training. Maybe his team didn't need him. This hurt Kai deep inside. If this was true then why didn't they tell him? What could he do? Who did he have to turn to? No one! Nobody cared about Kai. He was alone in this world. Anger burned inside him. He didn't need them if they didn't need him. He fought alone.

The kitten appeared again. Kai's anger softened. The kitten leaped into his lap just like last time. An icy wind blew past them. Kai wrapped his scarf around the kitten to keep it warm.

"I wish you could understand how I'm feeling. I wish I didn't feel this way about my 'friends' and I wish I had someone to talk to other than a kitten" Kai stroked the kitten gently. It looked up at him. Anger was burning inside him again "I can't talk to you, you're a stupid cat. Like you could ever help me" He said angrily. The cat looked at him with fear in its eyes, "Just leave me alone you stupid feline. I must be an idiot to even let you come near me." The cat leaped of his lap and ran away.

Kai watched it vanish, what had he done? He'd scared away the only thing that cared. 'Maybe that's why everyone hates me, maybe I scared them too' He thought. He placed his head in his hands. He wanted to cry but he couldn't and wouldn't. Crying was for weak people and he was not weak. He was strong and he could handle being alone. He wanted to be alone. He didn't need friends. Friends got in the way of what was important, being the best. Teams were useless you had to share the glory of winning. No being alone was best. An evil voice spoke in his ear "Come on Kai. You don't need those losers. Leave and form your own team, a team of winners. Or better show the world you can win alone and you are the best! Come on Kai I know you want to be the best. I know you don't need them!"

Kai shook himself free of the evil force inside him; he had to stay with his team. Even if that meant being ignored he'd stay. He may be a bit antisocial but he was loyal and determined. The first thing he'd do in the morning was let his team have a rest from training and talk to them. He'd change himself to be like them. He'd smile and he'd ask them why they were acting like they were. Once he had answers he'd decide whether or not he was needed or wanted.

Kai does have an evil side, in case you are wondering. He'll probably spend a lot of time fighting his inner evil in future chapters. For those who prefer the moody, anti-social Kai then he will NOT be turning happy and smiley. For those who prefer happy Kai Tough I've planned the next chapter and I'm not changing it.

I hope you liked this chapter and you want to read more. If you do, great, if you don't, oh well. Please review and tell me how I can make this better. Also tell me if you have any names for the kitten, it might appear again if I can find a name It wasn't supposed to appear in this but it did, yes its strange but so are some of my thoughts and ideas. I'll only keep it if all of you readers want me to. Kari Rose xx


	2. Kai's Feelings

This is a bit different from the previous chapter but the next one will be back to normal. Thanks to everyone who reviewed you know who you are so I won't list you Keep reviewing please!! It can be good comments or bad comments I don't mind, remember HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY unless you'll get killed for it, or thrown out of your school/home/country, whatever

Kai's feelings

I don't understand

I'm wondering why

I'm feeling alone

Trying not to cry

I feel no one cares

And they'd rather not see

The one in the corner

The one that is me

I don't fit into groups

Can't talk 'bout their stuff

I'm finding things hard

I'm finding life tough

Nobody knows

How I feel inside

I wish I could talk

I wish to confide

I want to tell you

I want to let it go

I want to feel wanted

I don't want to feel low

I feel so depressed

I just want to scream

I want to wake up

Tell me this is a dream

I feel so down

I feel so blue

I wish I could spill

My secrets to you

I don't want you to crowd

I just want some space

To sort myself out

Coz I'm a disgrace

My best friends all hate me

No care they show

I've let down the team

I want you to know

My life's such a mess

I'm lonely and hurt

I don't know how to cope

I'm feeling like dirt

I hide my true secrets

My feelings aren't told

I can hardly relax

Let my thoughts unfold

I'm worried 'bout tomorrow

I can't sleep at night

I can't move forward

I'm losing the fight

please review and tell me what you think! Thanks!! Bye! Luv Kari Rose xx


	3. Bladebreaker no more

**Hello everyone! Sorry it's been a while since I updated but here's chapter 3! Enjoy!**

Bladebreaker no more

"_I hate you Kai, you never listen to anything we say. You train us 12 hours a day with hardly any breaks, you only care about yourself and you're jealous that I'm crowned world champion and not you" Tyson yelled angrily. Kai felt a sharp pain inside himself and tears filled his eyes. It was time to cry for real and in front of his friends. Tears trickled silently down his cheeks. He bowed his head to hide his hurt. "It's no use Kai! Just get away from us. The Bladebreakers don't need you! And crying is for weak people, you said it yourself Kai. You're weak Kai! Do you here me, you're weak!"_

Kai's eyes snapped open. A layer of sweat coated his skin. 'It was only another nightmare' He told himself. But Tyson's voice echoed in his mind _"You're weak, you're jealous, I'm crowned world champion and not you, get away, don't need you, and you're weak, weak, weak..." _

Kai splashed cold water over his face. "Pull yourself together Kai, It was only a dream" He told himself. It had only been a dream but it had felt so real.

Kai stepped outside into the darkness of the night. It was icy cold but he didn't care. He just needed to be away from the rest of his team, all of which were still sleeping peacefully.

This wasn't the first time Kai had heard his friends say they hated him in his dreams but it hadn't happened for a while. He thought it had finally stopped and he had gone back to sleeping more at night.

This time it had been worse than ever. Kai felt so alone, so unwanted. Today was the day he would have to find out exactly how much he was needed. Tonight was the night he would make the decision. The decision which would change all his plans, a decision which would show how he truly felt. This was the bladebreakers final chance.

The sun rose steadily up on the horizon. Kai decided to go and wake everyone up and for training to begin.

As he entered the room where everyone slept, he found them all (including Tyson!) awake, dressed and ready to begin. He opened his mouth to tell them his aim for the day but Tyson pushed passed him and headed for the beydish. Kenny trotted behind him like an obedient dog. Max gave Kai a small smile before following Tyson. Ray did not move. Kai did not realise he was still there. Kai hung his head holding back tears. Ray stepped towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Kai was surprised and pushed Ray away.

"Don't touch me"

"You've been acting strangely Kai. I just want to help"

"I don't need help. You go join you're little champion friends"

"They wouldn't be champions if..."

"Just go" Kai commanded. Ray turned.

"At least I know they're my friends. You always act so selfish Kai. I try to help but you always push me away. I give up on you Kai"

The pain struck for real this time. Ray took one last look at him and left.

"He doesn't understand. No one understands." He whispered. "No one cares"

Kai's eyes stung as he fought the tears. He knew now he wasn't wanted. He didn't need to wait for the night. He knew the answer now.

Kai looked down from the rooftop at Ray and Tyson's blades spinning head to head.

"Loosen up Tyson. Ray concentrate" He whispered into the wind. He could see Kenny making changes to Max's blade, "Good 'ol chief" He heard Max say as he tested his new improved blade.

"Who needs Kai's training when we have Kenny" Tyson slapped Kenny on the back.

Kai took one last look at his 'friends' "Who needs Kai?" He turned and with a swish of his scarf, he was gone.

Kai was a Bladebreaker no more...

**I hope you liked this chapter! Thank you for all the reviews. You seem to like the kitten so she might be coming back in the future and I think I'll agree with you and call her Hope but you'll have to wait and see! Please review! Thanks Kari Rose xx**


	4. Kai's New Life

**Hi, really sorry it's been so long since I've updated! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it was you who gave me the kick up the back side to write this next chapter! Hope you like! Kari Rose x**

Chapter 4: Kai's New Life

Kai walked away from his 'friends' and didn't look back until he reached the edge of town. He turned for a brief moment before leaving the town and walking into the forest. He didn't know where he was going and he didn't care, as long as it was as far away as possible. It didn't matter. The blade breakers didn't need him so he didn't need them.

As Kai rested beneath a tree, a voice filled his head.

"What have you done Kai? Why have you left your friends? Go back Kai! Go home Kai!" But he couldn't. They weren't his friends. Maybe they had never been his friends! Another voice whispered to him.

"No Kai, you've done well. We'll start a new team. A team of winners. Or better yet, show them you can win alone and you are the best. You don't need anyone Kai. You have me. You can make them sorry Kai; all you have to do is listen to me Kai, Listen to me!"

Kai shook the evil force from his head. He didn't want to go back to the team but he didn't want to follow evil either. He didn't want to become Voltaire!

As much as Kai tried to deny it, he knew he'd brought this on himself. He knew it was his fault that he was ignored and unnoticed. He knew that if he'd just been a little more social, a bit more friendly, more like them, he'd have never had to leave. He'd forced himself into this situation and now he had to get himself out of it. But he knew what he was going to do.

He wanted to quit the sport. Not entirely though. He wanted to coach beginners. He wanted to pass on his knowledge without actually blading. He would travel from town to town advising and helping where he could. The training he had given the blade breakers had made them champions. They had come so far since the team had started out but now they were ready to face everything without Kai. Tyson had always been the team captain really, so they'd still have a leader in their future battles as a team. Tyson had come so far. He'd gone from beginner to champion, he was a strong blader with determination and skill and now even Kai felt challenged by him.

Rei had always been a great blader. He had brought to the team all the skills he had mastered during his White Tiger days and learned new ones too. There was no doubt that Rei would continue to progress and improve whether Kai was there or not. Kai had always felt that Rei was capable of great things on his own. Kai only feared that one day Rei would return to the White Tigers. Deep in his heart Rei was a member of the White Tiger team and no matter how hard anyone tried, that would never change. Kai knew it wouldn't be too long before Rei would return to his rightful position as captain of the White Tigers.

Max was a confident and happy blader. His spirit kept his Draciel strong and his enthusiasm drove him to victory. Kai was sure Max was equally as great as both Tyson and Rei. The only thing that did worry Kai was the fact the Max may one day wish to join the Allstarz since his mum worked with them. However, this thought had always been driven away by knowing that Max was loyal and would probably never leave the team.

Kenny was a genius. With Kenny's knowledge of blades, Kai's training wasn't needed. Kai felt Kenny had learned an awful lot by studying and analysing the blades and battles. With Kenny, Tyson, Rei and Max as a team, Kai was definitely not needed. Together, Kai knew, they would be able to conquer anything without him.

Kai wanted to train those who did need him. He wanted to help those who were new to the sport. He would train the future champions just as he had with Tyson but he would never become a team member. He wouldn't commit himself to a team ever again. He didn't want to go through everything he'd ever had to endure again. He wouldn't have friends, only students.

Kai sat in thought for a while. A gentle mewing came from the side of him. He looked down and his eyes met those of the kitten. A small flicker of something sparked in his heart. He did have a friend. He had the kitten.

"Hope" Kai whispered to her. A gentle purr told him she agreed. He rose to him feet and lifted the kitten into his arms. "I suppose your coming with me then" He said gently. The kitten mewed and buried her head in his chest. A small smile played on Kai's lips as he continued on his journey, wherever he was going.

**Ok, I know it's short but it's all I can think of at the moment. In the next chapter, I think we'll have something about Tyson. He's not appeared much. Although I'm not promising, I may not even put any more Tyson til the end of the story, I don't know til I write it! I'll try not to leave it too long next time! Hope you enjoyed it. Leave a review and let me know. Thanks, Kari Rose x**


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